


Breathe

by FiniteFrame



Category: High Rollers DnD (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Lucius has a panic attack, Lucius needs a hug, Panic Attacks, The other characters are mentioned but yeah, and he gets one, because I said so, let me know if I need to tag anything else, spoilers for episode 88
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:34:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27098191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiniteFrame/pseuds/FiniteFrame
Summary: Lucius can’t breathe.He struggles and tries and tries but he can’t seem to get a solid breath in. He doesn’t know what happened. One second, he was fine. The next, he was struggling to breathe.Again.
Comments: 13
Kudos: 20





	Breathe

Lucius can’t breathe.

He struggles and tries and tries but he can’t seem to get a solid breath in. He doesn’t know what happened. One second, he was fine. The next, he was struggling to breathe.

_Again._

His mind is a storm at sea. It is chaotic and it is terrifying. Like lightning, he gets flashes of what happened only just a few days ago, and he relives those terrifying moments all over again. 

* * *

Quill is hurt. Badly. And he can’t help. He reaches for him as they’re descending into the ocean, but he can’t get to Quill while Aila is holding both of them up enough to help. And suddenly, they hit the water.

It is freezing, and the cold sends a shock though him as he desperately looks around for Nova. He knows that he is in danger. But he can’t help but worry for Quill. His injuries didn’t look good and he is vulnerable in the water. He trusts Nova to get Quill out of danger. When Aila shoves Quill into Nova’s waiting arms, they disappear. Lucius can’t help but be relieved, but it only lasts a moment before the dragon turtle attacks. There’s a pain in his chest, and everything goes dark.

  


When he comes to, he can’t breathe. He panics and reaches up to his face, to his chest, trying to understand what is happening. Trying to understand why he can’t breathe. Hands gently grab his. They push his hands away so they stay out of the way. Looking up, he can see his friends surrounding him. Greylano and Quill are above him, panic in their eyes. To their side, Nova is there, tears starting to slide down her face. She is looking through her belongings while frequently glancing over at him. As if she’s afraid that if she looks away for too long, he’ll be gone when she looks back. She’s pleading with him to stay.

Lucius doesn’t like seeing Nova cry. 

He thinks he’s seen enough of that. So, he does what he thinks might help her, he reaches out a hand and musters the last of his breath and forces the magic out of his fingertips into the cracked spear at her side. It mends, leaving behind a golden line where it was once cracked, but it only seems to make Nova cry even harder as he finally passes out.

  


When he wakes up for the second time, he still can’t breathe. There are even more people around now. He hears frantic calls of his name. He hears people screaming and crying. It is chaos around him and he just wants it to be quiet. He wants his friends, his _family,_ to be ok. Wants them to stop being sad. 

In the midst of the chaos, he swears he sees his mom and his dad in the crowd around him as the sky gets brighter and his vision darkens.

In a soft whisper, he struggles through his limited breaths to reassure them. To make them understand. “It’s ok, it’s ok. Thank you.”

He wants them to know that they’ll be ok whether or not he makes it out of this alive. He wants to thank them for being his friends and for giving him a family again. For giving him hope. He knows that they will do wonderful things. He just wishes he’ll be there to see it. He takes what he thinks is his last breath once again and he passes out again. 

  


When he wakes up for what he thinks is the third time, he can finally breathe, and for a moment, he thinks he died.

And then a cheer erupts. And his family is there. And he can breathe. 

* * *

Reliving this last moment doesn’t seem to let him get past his inability to breathe now though. His chest hurts. He doesn’t know if it is a phantom pain or if it because he cannot breathe. Perhaps it is both. He struggles to breathe in the dark of his room for what feels like hours when he dimly registers the door opening and footsteps coming towards him. Suddenly, there is a hand is on his shoulder and he manages to look up to see the softly glowing eyes of Sentry looking down at him.

She doesn’t ask if he is ok. But she helps. She walks him through his breathing. She talks to him. And it takes a while, but eventually, she helps him fight back against the waves of his mind that threaten to drown him.

There are a few moments of quiet.

“You know you don’t have to hide this Lucius; you don’t have to go through this alone,” Sentry says softly. She had moved away to give him space at some point. He doesn’t remember when. “You’re going to have to talk to us eventually.”

Lucius’ breathing hitches, and for a second, he panics again. He can’t walk away from this conversation. He can’t deny that something is wrong. He reaches into his pocket and starts fidgeting with a feather he has hidden away. Sentry sees his panic and reaches over to squeeze his shoulder gently. He breathes for a moment before continuing.

“I... I know,” Lucius whispers. “I just- I’m not ready yet... I don’t think.”

“That’s ok,” Sentry speaks, a smile in her voice, “Take your time, just know that we’re here for you. All of us.”

Lucius smiles. And it is a small and tired smile, and he nods a little. He knows. It doesn’t make it any easier. He still doesn’t want to bother his friends with his issues. They have already done so much for him. They even used up a valuable scroll to save his life. And while he is grateful, a small part of him thinks it may not have been completely worth it.

He doesn’t want to talk about this anymore.

After another few moments soft breathing, Sentry once again breaks the silence, “Is there anything I can do to help now? Do you want a hug maybe?”

Lucius nods his head and Sentry sits closer beside him and puts an arm around his shoulders. He leans into her and tries not to cry. He pulls out the soft feather completely from his pocket. He plays with it for a moment. It helps ground him along with Sentry’s solid presence at his side.

It’s quiet. It’s peaceful.

And Lucius breathes.

**Author's Note:**

> uhhh anyways, this is legitimately like, my first fic _ever_ so,, yeah. And I typically hate writing cause I'm not good at it so I don't know where this came from lol 
> 
> (and this fandom needs more fic anyways so why not contribute lol ;P)
> 
> I just thought about the fact that if Lucius had an anxiety/panic attack, wouldn't it kinda make itself worse? The root of his trauma was his suffocating so I just thought that it would really suck for him.
> 
> Im posting this at 2am my time, so hopefully I don't decide to delete this in the morning but yeah!  
> Thanks for reading this short fic! hope you enjoyed what I am sure is a mess of writing. :D


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